This is a part of a story I'm actually working on. I'm looking for a bit of criticism about the writing. It will eventually become part of a chapter with the same title.

Synopsys: On a warm July day at an air show. Midway through the show, about an hour and a half from the end disaster struck. Two planes collided, and crashed into the field. This covers part of the scene immediately before, and for the couple of hours after.

Cara, a white tailed doe, sat on the grass on the infield between the inner runway, and the ramp. She was a pilot who flew a couple of different aircraft, and owned two WWII aircraft, a P51D Mustang and a P47 Thunderbolt. Impressed by the display of the Super Hornet, she teased her friend Melissa Philips about it. "Oh, that'd be a blast to fly. I mean it's so maneuverable, and it's big and powerful."

"Awe, come on the pilot over on the static display said it could barely reach its top speed, and had trouble even getting supersonic. He didn't seem impressed, and he flies it. And remember size isn't everything." Secretly Melissa was somewhat surprised with the display after seeing the Canadian Forces performance with their Hornet. Still she had to wonder if it could take a beating like the Intruder could and still bring the pilot back home. "Admittedly it's a ..." she got drowned out by the noise of the plane accelerating upwards performing a square loop.

As the sound died out Cara asked "Admittedly it is what?"

"Better to look at than the old Hornet." The young arctic fox vixen teased and added "But without all of that electronics it would nothing more than an expensive 60 foot long lawn ornament." Melissa was a pilot as well and also owned a P47, and absolutely loves the Intruder, which the Hornet replaced in the 80s and 90s and the last variant, the Prowler, was on its last legs because of the Super Hornet. They watched the rest of the display talked through it. The two were at an air show attended by more than 20,000 that day and would be among those that would watch a tragedy unfold in the next few minutes.

***

Standing near the north end of the ramp was Jason Thomas. Melissa's half brother, he too was an arctic fox. He was going from static display to static display, and once he was finished with this next one he'd sit down to watch the rest of the show. He was waiting in line to take a look in the cockpit of a CT-155 Hawk jet trainer. Nothing fancy, he thought to himself, but since he had a model of one he needed a couple of questions answered. A couple of things he knew already, but there were a couple of details he had to ask the second lieutenant manning the aircraft. Their view of the airfield was obstructed by two very large aircraft, a C-17 Globemaster III, and a KC10 Extender. When he finally got to the front of the line a new display was taking to the air, one that featured several different aircraft flying in what could be described as a dogfight. Once up on the platform he took a look around the front seat of the Hawk, and at the open canopy.

He looked towards the back and asked his first question. "In the back seat up here" pointing to a bump in the back seat instrument panel housing, "is something like a HUD right?"

"It is a HUD repeater, it displays what the student sees through his HUD for the instructor."

Jason continued to look over the cockpit and looked at all parts including the seat, and leaned over to get a good look at the HUD as the aerial demo was progressing south of where he was, well out from the crowd. As he was about to ask his second question he heard a gasp from the pilot he was talking to and turned to see what the pilot saw.

***

Back with Melissa and Cara they were enjoying the show as two of the three aircraft started some maneuvers and the third was in a turn away from the crowd. The first two aircraft entered turns and on approached the other and just a split second before they hit Cara gasped, and Melissa managed a muffled "Oh, my God!" as she looked away.

The two aircraft collided and erupted into flames. Both of them stood up and started to back away from the show line. There was a deafening silence as people began to realize that both pilots were probably dead. Seconds later a fireball impacted near the inner runway, but well away from the crowd. The other aircraft fell to the ground and erupted into flames. They walked away in disbelief, as Melissa began to cry as the shock of what she'd just seen sunk in. Cara supported her friend as they started towards one of the exits. Cara comforted her friend saying that the pilots died doing what they loved, and probably didn't know anything went wrong, or suffer. Melissa was still visibly shaken after a couple of minutes as they reached the ramp near the front of the C-17.

***

Jason saw the fireball as it entered his view between the C-17 and the KC10. It didn't register right away as to what it was. Because he hadn't seen the display the previous day he didn't know that there wasn't going to be any pyrotechnics at the show. He followed the trail of smoke up and saw that the fireball didn't start on the ground, but in the air. At that moment he noticed that he only heard, and could only find one aircraft. As he was a volunteer he knew that security was short handed, and he reasoned that his bright yellow t-shirt would stick out in a crowd, so he moved to a place where he felt he could be needed, which was at the west end of the ramp where there was a gap in the fence at the base of the control tower. He knew that this was close to where the emergency services would be operating from and he would have to try to keep people away from that area because the base and security personnel would have their hands full.

He started to walk to the control tower when he heard a familiar voice, that of his best friend, Cara Middleton shouting "my God, Jason did you see that?" He turned to see her and his half sister slowly walking towards him.

"Not all of it, but enough to know what happened." He replied. "How's she doing?"

"I'll be alright, I've never seen ... I mean when it's on TV it's so different." Melissa answered still trembling "Those guys were so good, and now..." she trailed off and neither Jason or Cara could understand what she said. "I knew what was happening, and there were so many out there that weren't sure what was going on. Now it's so quiet. What could have went wrong?"

The three continued west towards the tower, not having to fight the crowds because most hadn't left the show line yet, as most didn't fully realize what had just happened. As they approached the tower the second crash-rescue truck was starting its run to the scene of the accident. An ambulance was waiting to cross the ramp and head out to the crash site.

"I don't think it is needed, I don't know how anyone could have survived that." Cara whispered to Jason being careful not to let Melissa hear what she said. All three knew that the show was over. The ambulance went out to the crash site and they knew, for certain that no one survived.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the show has been cancelled, and I would ask that you proceed in an orderly fashion to the gates. Please follow the directions of the volunteers as they will know how to clear the field in the shortest time." The announcer said over the sound system. He continued with "the busses will be running until 5:30. Please pray for the families of the pilots tonight."

The three of them stood and talked for a couple of minutes near where the gap in the fence was, until an tall grey wolf walked over and asked that Jason stay put until the airfield was cleared of spectators, keeping people away from the emergency lanes.

"Are you two volunteers?" he asked. Both of the ladies shook their heads, no. "Then I'll have to ask you to leave the field."

They both left and kept quietly talking to each other as they started towards the busses.

Jason stood there and watched the emergency personnel working, spraying flame retardant on crash sites. By the time he reached the tower the second crash truck was heading down the inner runway to get to the site where the first aircraft hit. He was directly behind the Prowler, which was a large, and in his mind beautiful, aircraft. As he watched what was going on he noticed a tall blue heeler and what looked like his son approaching.

"Clear" came from the right side of the Prowler and seconds later the canopies on the aircraft started to close with a hiss as, Jason assumed, someone did something on the other side of the aircraft. Then after the canopies were closed he watched as one of the pilots swung up the ladder on the right side, and closed it with a click. The pilots then walked across the tarmac to meet with other military personnel near the front of a Super Hornet. Just then the two heelers walked up to Jason and stopped.

"Do you know what's going on now?" the older dog asked, and then pointed to his son and continued, "Do you think they have a chance?"

Understanding what the father meant Jason looked down the ramp towards the flames in field, and lowered his head and said "There's always a chance, but..." he then continued in a whisper "I don't think so, not with this one." Normally at an air show his whisper wouldn't be heard, but the father was easily able to understand what Jason said. The child sensed that something was wrong, but didn't know what it was, and didn't really understand what happened.

"All I know right now is that I'm to keep non-essential personnel from going beyond this point, and that the airfield is closed. They need the airfield cleared of anyone who doesn't have a job to do, so that they can start to sort everything out. It's sad it had to end in this way, I hope you have a safe trip home to wherever you came from."

The father and son left, just as a lynx dressed in a blue flightsuit walked under the Super Hornet just to Jason's right. Jason watched intently as the lynx walked around the aircraft, closed the canopy, raised the ladder and then proceeded to crawl under the aircraft and stood up in the main gear bay. He then started to do something under there that intrigued Jason. The lynx was ratcheting something, and Jason assumed that it had something to do with safeing the plane for the night. He didn't know and wasn't going to ask.

A few minutes later a couple of people came up to Jason to ask if they could get to their plane that was sitting on the other side of the fence. He had instructions to allow them to go there, but to make sure they stayed along the fence, and went straight to their aircraft. He also had to make it clear that the airfield was closed, and they wouldn't be allowed to leave until later in the day, or possibly the next day.

The full effect of what he had seen was starting to sink in, and he needed to sit. After grabbing a chair he sat down and lowered his head. He began to think of what could have went wrong, and about the son of one of the pilots who he knew was there, and how that person must have felt, knowing that he was watching his father die. Tears occasionally surfaced and Jason quickly wiped them away. What Jason didn't know was that the son was announcing at the time of the collision, and he also wondered what other family members saw what happened. By about 6:30 Jason's work at the field was done, and he was home by about 7:15.